Crap I've Made from Pinterest, Vol. 3

Holy crap. It's been a while... sorry, guys.

I've been working like a crazy person lately, but TODAY, APRIL 13TH is my first day completely and utterly off since Ican'trememberwhen. I'm doing laundry. I went to the grocery. I slept in. I'm having a Normal Person Saturday and it's amazeballs.

And so... I bring you... another installment of:

CRAP I'VE MADE FROM PINTEREST, VOL. 3

I've been making a lot* of crap from Pinterest and not blogging about it.

(*Ok. Not really all that much. But I've been busy, so everything in context, alright??)

So. To catch up:

The Failure

Paleo Chocolate Fudge

First, if you're not familiar with the paleo food craze: as I understand it, it's basically a strictish diet based on what cavemen ate. Meat? Grains? Yep. Pringles? Burgers? Definitely not. Also known as: How My Mother Has Been Eating for Twenty Years. But Martha's always been ahead of her time.

Anyway. I'm not really into the paleo movement, but this looked like guilt-free (or reduced guilt) chocolate and that's always a good thing.

Not mine. I couldn't bring myself to document my failure.

And only five ingredients! Coconut oil, cocoa powder, almond/peanut butter, honey, and vanilla. How hard could this be? Oh, just you wait...

In theory, you mix everything together, put it in muffin tins, and let it set up in the fridge. Voila! Fudge. Unless, like me, you don't have coconut oil on hand and you've maybe had a glass or two of wine and you think, "You know what? Canola oil will be just fine!" LIES. They never got firm and the bit I licked out of the bowl was... not good.

So maybe these are really tasty and easy, but make sure you have the right ingredients. Or just get regular fudge. Like a normal person.

The Successes

Apple Pie Cookies

Pie. In cookie form. Brilliant! Because pies can be difficult and time consuming. And who doesn't love miniature pies?

Again, super easy, minimal ingredients: pre-made refrigerated pie crust, one can of filling, caramel sauce, 1 egg (for the egg wash), and nutmeg/sugar/cinnamon for sprinkling on top. I briefly thought about making crust from scratch and then I got tired. And these turned out AMAZING. I recommend using parchment paper because they ooze everywhere while baking and it'll be easier clean up if you don't have to scrap the pan. And make sure you have plenty of clean counter space to work on because you will make a HUGE mess. A delicious, huge mess.

Adorbs.

The only downside is that this recipe only makes around 10 cookies. But then... maybe that's for the best...

Crunchy Cashew Thai Quinoa Sala with Ginger Peanut Dressing

or (as I was calling it):

Asian Inspired Cashew Quinoa Salad with Peanut Ginger Dressing

Sigh. There is so much awesome in this salad, there's no way to communicate that awesomeness without an incredibly clunky name. Oh well. It's delicious. Go eat it. Oh, and it's vegan and gluten-free. So there's that...

I was chopping as I went instead of being a good cook and prepping everything. So it took probably three times as long as it should have. But hot damn is this tasty. I could have eaten the dressing BY ITSELF. I have no idea what the calorie count is on this, but it has so much healthy crap in it, I don't know if it matters. And it's delicious.

My kitchen currently looks like a produce stand exploded in the middle of it. Totally worth it.

Beware the Ides of March

It's all downhill from here.

That's right. We are officially at the half way point of the Month From Hell. I haven't had a whole day off since February and I won't have a whole day off until... uh... April.

Note: when I say "day off," I mean, "day I can stay in PJs, lie on the couch all damn day, and not go anywhere - especially work." So, while I am going to Columbus and Louisville in the next three weeks, I'm not counting those as true days off as I will not be at home. But between now and March 28th, I have to go somewhere to work for at least two hours every freaking day.

But! Half way point! It's eerily similar to hitting the half way point of a half marathon: wait, I have do that again?? But I already ran 6 and 1/2 miles!

And at the end of the next two weeks, I have these smiling faces waiting for me:

Time to keep my head down and power through. Let's do this.

Stop the world, I want to get off.

Ok, fine, totally stole this from Etsy. So here's a link, if you want to buy it. 

There is so much shit going down right now. Yes, it could be worse. But I don't want to find out how.

My favorite thing right now is an app called Charity Miles. You can run, walk, or bike and for each mile you log, they donate to the charity of your choice (since they track this using GPS, you have to be outside, I'm pretty sure it won't work on a treadmill or stationary bike). They have everything from Stand Up to Cancer to the ASPCA to the Wounded Warrior Project to Feeding America. Basically, if there's a cause you care about, there will be a charity willing to accept your donation. And the app is free! You do have to post to Facebook for the sponsorship to take, but you can change the settings to private so you don't inundate your friends' Facebook feeds with your charitable contributions.

Helping people while helping yourself. All good things.

Weddings are dumb.

Seriously. Weddings are dumb. And apparently the groom is optional.

If you spend any time on virtually any wedding website, this will be your takeaway. Go look at The Knot. See that sidebar?

• Get engaged.
• Start Planning.
• Venue.
• Wedding Dress.
• Bridesmaids.
• Groomsmen.
• Guest list.
• Etc., etc.

Isn't something missing? Or someone??

It's disgusting and I am over weddings. Well, my own. I'm super excited for all my friends' weddings. They're going to be amazing, boozy celebrations of love and commitment and I just cannot wait. I'm excited to see them have their official kick off of "Forever and Ever" and I can't wait to celebrate with them. And to buy them lots and lots of crystal candlesticks and other pretty, yet slightly useless, household goods.

I just can't get over how small a role the groom is supposed to play in all of this (according to The Wedding Industry). It's supposed to be OUR day. Not MY day. OURS. We're starting our life together and I want it to be a reflection and celebration of who we are as a couple and family (because a wedding is the beginning of a new family - you don't have to have kids to be a family). I already get my own day, once a year, on October 25th. That's my day to celebrate all things me and dress up in whatever funky outfit I find at Target and bake cupcakes for all you lovely people. But that is not what our wedding day should be. Well, there can be cupcakes.

Also, this shit is expensive. We're not planning anything yet and don't want to plan anything for a while - mostly because we're both hella busy and planning a wedding on top of barely seeing each other is just stupid. But even in the non-planning planning stages, shit's expensive. Just getting my ring appraised and insured is around $200 (which, honestly, is not that expensive, considering...). Just to buy wedding bands is going to be $200-$300, depending on what we each want. Conveniently, Amazon sells a ring the manfriend likes quite a bit at a very reasonable price point. But still! Shit. Is. Expensive.

I love him and I want to spend my life with him and be his wife. But I don't want to have a hullabaloo. We are not hullabaloo people. Our jobs are literally to make other people look good - not to be the center of attention ourselves.

In light of that, here is my short list of things that are important to me to have at this wedding:

The manfriend, preferably with a freshly trimmed beard, but as it's his wedding too, he can go native if he really wants to.
Family and friends, obvs.
Pie.
Taco bar (seriously, guys, so not kidding about this one).
Open bar - to a point.
Photographer.
Comfortable shoes.
The beautiful blue cameo pin the manfriend's mother gave me during the first Christmas I spent with his family.
A really spectacular dress that will be comfortable all day.

Thankfully, I can check two things off that list already - the manfriend and the dress. That's right: we've been engaged less than a month and I already have my dress(es).

First, after a highly traumatizing and emotionally scarring visit to David's Bridal (I'm still surprised I didn't break out in hives), I was at T.J. Maxx with my parents and found this delightful lace mini-dress. It's perfect - for a rehearsal dinner or a bachelorette party or even a courthouse wedding. And it was $35.

Then I was going through sewing patterns at my parents' house and found the pattern my grandmother used for my mom's dress. One thing lead to another and...

It needs a little work and a zipper and less sleeves... but for a 35 year old dress, it's in pretty spectacular condition.

After a couple weeks of freaking the hell out and having a small existential crisis (is there such a thing as a small existential crisis??), I realized I'm not against marriage. I welcome that with open arms. And I'm not really against weddings. But I am overwhelmed with all the "shoulds" the Wedding Industry is pushing on us. All I really want is to sign papers to legally bind me to this man and then eat some pie. And that should be enough.

Wait - I need to tie my shoe.

We were walking into the Hunter House (a great old hamburger stand in Michigan), when the manfriend says, "Wait, I need to tie my shoe."

And then he kneeled down in the parking lot and asked me to join him in the most exciting adventure yet.

The diamond is a family heirloom - it was his grandmother's engagement diamond which she bought at an estate sale in 1942. The setting was custom made in Jeweler's Row. And it's beyond perfect.

Me: So... what kind of wedding do you want to have?
Manfriend: Oh my god. We have to plan a wedding.
Me: You brought this on yourself.

Special K Challenge: Week 1

Sunday marked the end of Week 1 of the Special K Challenge.

Alas, I tried to find a fun image (for about 10 seconds), decided it wasn't worth it, and moved on. Y'all know what that big red "K" looks like.

For anyone who doesn't know: the Special K Challenge lasts for 2 weeks. Challengers (i.e. me) eat some combination of a shake, a protein meal bar, or a bowl of cereal with milk or yogurt for two meals plus two small snacks plus a "well-balanced" dinner for two weeks and ka-blam! 6lbs down!

First of all, my reasons:

• I've been feeling squishy. I'd lost most of the holiday weight, but before the holidays I was already carrying around a few extra pounds.
• It's winter. I don't like running when it's this cold and the sidewalk is covered in ice. I barely get off the couch when the heat isn't blowing. I don't do cold well. I should probably rethink living in Chicago...
• I've been eating a lot of crap (aka. Pizza Rolls) and needed a kick in the butt to get back on the healthy eating track.
• I need to sweat more.

So how did the first week go? Pretty well! I'm not a huge fan of the shakes - call me crazy, but I prefer to eat my food - but I have two left, so I worked them into my plan for this week. I have rediscovered a love of granola and cereal, especially with fruit. I'm actually surprised how not hungry I've been. I've been intentionally keeping busy and trying to keep to an eating schedule, so I think that helps. I'm also tracking the food in my calorie counter to keep from eating too few calories and throwing my metabolism into crisis mode.

I didn't work out as much as I would have liked (when I say "work out," I mean, "yoga"). It was a busy week and I'm hoping to make a habit of eating better before working the exercise component in. By the beginning of March, I want to be in a place where getting back into running and training for an 8k in April isn't going to completely kick my ass.

The absolute best part about this is the new meals I've discovered! My biggest downfall is eating healthy all day, getting home starving, and just eating whatever comes to hand first. Usually cookies. Frequently Pizza Rolls. I'm not proud. And I'd fallen into a rut. Of cookies and Pizza Rolls. During Week 1, I had a steak salad, a veggie burger with side salad, chicken with chop suey veggies over brown rice - and all of these things took about 15 minutes to make. Quick, easy, delicious, healthy. Can't beat that combo. Dessert every night has been light whipped cream with strawberries and I couldn't be happier about that. But I think the biggest accomplishment of the week was kicking my soda habit. I ran out of soda about half way through the week and just didn't get any more. No caffeine headaches! I have coffee in the morning and I'm good. I drink water the rest of the day and I think that's helped a lot too.

Oh - to go back to one of the themes of this blog... I be poor, yo. How did I afford all this fancy Special K food? Aldi. They have knock off versions of almost everything Special K has, so that saved me a ton of money. I did buy a couple things name brand, but having the Aldi versions of most of it helped a ton.

Week 1 Results: I've lost 3lbs and 4 inches overall and feel like I've generally deflated. I'm looking forward to the Final Results.

Go forth and craft!

Once upon a time, I had to return some snaps to JoAnn's. That was all I had to do. Just walk in and return. the. snaps. But then... I didn't have any other plans that night... the manfriend was working late...  one thing lead to another... and I left with about $30 worth of fabric and lots of new projects percolating in my brain.

Found this on a shelf at JoAnn's. Seriously.

I love shopping for fabric. I love walking down the rows of bright colors and prints and glitter, thinking about what each one could be used for and letting the fabric inspire the project. I love getting to know a fabric by feel - and sometimes passing judgement if it's cheap and gross feeling (I'm looking at you, rayon). Cotton fabrics just make my heart go pitter patter.

Sewing is in my bones. I spent most of my childhood in a fabulous (now closed) locally owned fabric store called Baer's. First of all, there was a huge Plexi-Glass box of random buttons that I could play in for hours while my mom was getting her fabric cut. I can still remember the button wall, the cutting tables, the bridal area on the first floor; the paper dolls, the remnant room, and the apparel fabric on the second floor, and the third floor - oh, the third floor - was entirely devoted to home decor.

I come by my fabric addiction honestly. I watched my mother buy yards and yards of fabric. In an attempt to break the cycle, I try very hard to not buy fabric unless I know what it'll be used for. So, when Court drunk texted and asked me to make her a quilt, I about passed out from excitement. She's all about fun, bold colors and geometric patterns, which means really fun fabric shopping:

I also try really hard to not start too many projects at once or they'll never get done. So here's what I've been working on or have waiting to be loved on:

a tunic made from some crazy pseudo-Lisa-Frank-on-acid knit fabric:

It's hard to be this fabulous.

a navy blue tailored sweatshirt top:

In progress!!

a gray blazer lined in a bright blue:

Totally not in progress yet.

and a birthday present:

Pot holders for Amy!

And an apron.

One of the Hancock's in the city is closing at the end of the month, which means super cheap stuff. And one of the few times I allow myself to buy fabric without a specific project in mind. I got an adorable teal fabric with big white polka dots. I'm having visions of a 1950s style summer halter dress thing. And probably ric rac. Because duh:

See? Adorbs.

Don't get me wrong: it makes me so sad to see fabric stores - especially Hancock's - close their doors. When Baer's closed, it was an Event in our family. It means sewing is a dying art. It means that the craft-fabric combo stores are winning. It means shopping for fabric online, which terrifies me. And it means higher and higher prices elsewhere since there's no competition.

That all being said, I'm poor. I hate shopping for fabric at JoAnn's, but I'll take my fix where I can get it. I will go to a closing store to get the things I need (and the things I didn't know I needed) at a price I can afford. I will use the coupons I find online, the coupons they send me in the mail, and the coupons available on the mobile app. And I will sew. It might seem weird or obsessive that I spend all day sewing for other folks and come home to continue to sew, but it makes me happy. I don't know what else to do to keep these stores from closing, other than to carry on and give them business and encourage as many people as I can in their sewing (and yes, crafting) endeavors.

Happy place.